Quiet Moments in Life

Think about it: When was the last time you had a quiet moment in life? A moment without industrialisation, noise pollution, or even people.

As I went home from school today on 6 November, it was about 4pm so I was pretty early. Instead of taking the usual turn to the left where I'm swayed by the huge crowd, I decided to the right. Because I was just bored.

I realised another side of the MRT station I never saw. It was quiet, and pretty empty. Just a few mindless souls walking around. I followed suite, and crossed the road. Subconsciously, I stopped my tracks, turned around, and crossed the same road again. Why? I don't know. The Little Guilin just attracted me.

I took my time to walk down these familiar tracks. I felt like I was back in my childhood days. I stretched out my arms to balance myself while walking, even though I know I don't need that help. Ahh, it was great pretending to be back in my childhood. 

I stared at the familiar huge rocks, and took a deep breath of cold air. I decided to sit on the short wall separating the walkway from the lake. I remember when I was young, my brother and I sat there (even closer to the water). I guess that when we're young, we don't fear anything. We stared at the turtles in the water. We threw crumbs of bread into the water to see ripples form and turtles fighting for food. And today, I was back there reminiscing those moments. There was a slight drizzle so I had the privilege to see ripples collide, and insects skipping on the delicate surface of the water.

The water was greenish. I could see the clear reflection of the huge rocks, which we used to call 'caves', in the water, as well as the thick and dark clouds approaching. I looked into the far distance and saw some turning. How I wish I had some boat so I could see what else was there. The scenery was breath-taking.

As I walked out I decided to hear 苏打绿 Soda Green's 小时候. It almost put me to tears :).

Instead of going home, I decided to walk more. I let my subconscious self lead me through the destined path. I walked under this familiar walkway sheltered by the MRT tracks. I looked at the designs on the ground and thought "Was it really 5 years ago that I saw this?". I looked at the open area where we used to play badminton. The house nearby always had some small windmill which we always admired. Where did it go? 

I continued walking. I doubted myself for awhile. I actually I thought I was lost. I just continued walking and somehow found a familiar path to take. I soon found a place I missed so dearly. The basketball court, where we used to be amazed at all those big kids who were able to score. The playground, where we used to play funny games there to keep ourselves entertained. The slope, where I learned how to ride a 2-wheeled bicycle. The drain, where I once feared for the safety of kids who entered it. And the building across the road, my home. My journey came to an end.

I love it how one decision in life just makes a progression to the next, and somehow, all of these choices are destined. Well that's what I like to believe in.

I miss those quiet moments in life. I miss those childhood memories. I miss Life.

苏打绿 Soda Green

On 19th October, I went for Soda Green's concert at the Max Pavilion. It was a really great experience. Honestly, I never expected myself to have so much fun.

The whole concert lasted a whooping 3 and a half hours, filled with laughter, sadness, and occasional silences. 青峰, the lead singer of the band, was amazing at singing, hitting all the high notes without any difficulty, and showing no signs of fatigue along the way. I can't exactly remember the sequence of songs, but these are the few songs that left the impression on me:

喜欢寂寞: Well firstly the song itself is nice. Secondly, everyone around me could sing it by hard and it was heartwarming :).

当我们一起走过: It basically means "Walk Together", which is the whole theme of their new album and the concert. Walk Together, no matter what the circumstances, no matter what we're feeling.
有多少苦痛有你和我一起度過，一起承受
有多少快乐有你和我一起享受，一起感动

有时候: 青峰 wrote this song for his dad. It's about innocence in Youth and reminiscence of his childhood. It's when something happens that you realise your mistakes. I miss my childhood. I miss those family moments.
我要爬上你的肩膀，我要眺望你的远窗

你被写在我的歌里: It's that typical sweet duet that just makes you smile when you hear it, no matter how down you are. It's funny how 青峰 bullied Jia Kai by making him sing the high-pitched ending haha ^^.

My favourite part was when he was singing out the song requests. For some apparent reason he "hates" the song 小宇宙 and refused to sing it, stating he has a list of songs he dislikes to sing and that came first haha. He ended up singing the lalala part of it and said "小宇宙还满好唱的". He also made countless jokes that made me laugh so hard. I haven't enjoyed myself like that for a long time.

There was also a part where he made it a point to walk through each aisle. I got to see him up close and it was just cool. It's an enjoyable experience I'll never forget :).

走向春天的下午

Yes call me crazy. I've been obsessed with chinese books, especially picture books by 幾米. They're just... amazingly... emotional. Here are some quotes that you probably won't bother reading but meh.

今天我下定决心，要去完成我们的约定。

我什么事都往最坏的方向想，你却相反，所有的事都往最好的方向想。


我像兔子一样害羞，你像狮子一样威风。为什么狮子会愿意做兔子的要朋友呢？

请你走慢一点，我快跟不上了。
如果别人都不停下来，我怎么可能跟得上呢？

我讨厌说再见，我假装无所谓，其实心里好难过。

大人都以为我们的伤痛转眼就消失，大人都以为我们笑了就代表忘了，真有那么简单就好了。。。

以前我以为，那些带给别人欢笑的人，从来不会有哀伤。现在我才知道，有些人在最难过的时候还是会努力带给别人快乐。

风还是一样地吹。花还是一样地开。太阳还是一样地升起。可是有些事情已经变得不一样了。

真希望无忧无虑的日子能永远停留。真希望烦恼难过的事能永远离去。

有时候真想躲进一个没有人找得到的角落。我害怕一个人长大，长大以后就永远回不来了。

This is the beautiful ending of the story:

我终于完成我们的约定，
我知道，
你变成了风，你变成了云；
你变成了星星，你变成了光；
你变成了我最强的力量，最美好的想念。
谢谢你，还一直陪在我身边。

Level Test 3

Well this series of 9 tests was pretty... bad. I didn't perform anywhere close to my usual standards... and I wonder what's wrong with me...

English: 13/20; Considering my English teacher wasn't much of a help, it wasn't that bad.
Oh yeah. There's a passage about a city girl moving on to the country side during her youth. You're supposed to type in different words to describe her during those paragraphs. Para 1-2: She was literally lost in the bushes. My answer was "loss", my teacher said the answer is "scared". His reasoning was that besides loss, she felt a greater, deeper emotion, which is fear. Fine argument accepted.
The next Para 3 is where she makes her way to her new house. My answer was "scared", his answer was "confused". My reasoning was that yes she felt confused, but according to your logic above saying you have to infer a deeper meaning, then the answer should be 'scared". He couldn't answer me and said our class was a pain to teach. Of course, when teachers don't make sense.

E Math: 19/20; My usual standards... I don't blame myself for losing that mark though. I didn't read the question properly haha.

A Math: 17/20; Now I blame myself. I managed to write b^2 into b^3 and bye bye 3 marks.

Chinese: ?/50. This was terribly horrible. It was 22, but my teacher said after remarking there's a possibility of adding 3 marks. BUT until now she doesn't want to tell us our marks. I thought the most retarded thing was putting 40% of the paper for a 10 question 选词填充, where I totally died. The compre was just weird on its own too. You basically have to infer all the questions. "Why did the author say this?". I'm not the author how the heck would I know.

Biology: 60%. Not that good... But I'm starting to lose interest in Biology. I find it really interesting honestly, I just don't like my teacher. Okay it's purely cause of the teacher. She has this infailable logic about Biology. She tells us "Design an experiment to..." As long as your experiment isn't what is stated in the textbook, it's wrong. My daring friend went to carry out his own experiment and got scolded by her. His experiment did get results. It's still wrong. Why? Because she says so. How ironic for a school for future innovators... What's wrong to challenge the assumption? You dare say that experiment is flawless? I'll prove you wrong. Just watch me.

Chemistry: 28.5/45, 63%. This came as a total disappointment. My Chemistry was constantly A1 for all tests this year. I seriously just knew the answer. I just, for some weird reason, didn't write it down at the correct blanks. My paper had annotations like "This answer should be written here" and stuff like that. Chemistry just... completely disappointed me. I like the teacher though, really good and patient teacher.
There's something really bad too. There's this particular person in my class who's good at Chemistry and was "disappointed" for not being able to beat this other person who got 93%. I don't mind if she complains "Oh! I got this question wrong! How careless was I!" and "YES I got this question right!"after the lesson. By then the papers were kept and I couldn't do anything bout the marks anymore. While the teacher was going through the paper, where I was trying to see where I went wrong, she just had to shout "Ahh I read the question wrong at this question!", "I got the mark for this question!". Please, I don't care how much you get. Please exercise self awareness. You're making a fool of yourself in class.


Physics: 30/45. Physics is now extremely hard for me... I just seem to... not understand it. The irony of being in the physics talent development group... I'm trying my best. I'm sorry for disappointing you...

Social Studies: 23/25. It came as a total surprise. Top in level. 2 others got the same marks as me, and another was sitting right behind me. Hi-five. SS isn't that hard honestly... Especially when the answers for inferences are at the contextual knowledge haha. I really don't know why I can't seem to score for History. It's just content difference. My History Mid-Years was C5. The difference.

 Biotech: I have no idea how much I got. But the paper totally stunned me. Dude I don't remember what's the shape of E.coli nor if it is Gram +ve or -ve... I just closed my eyes, calmed myself down, and had the image of bacteria in my mind haha. The last 6 marks question totally killed me. Well it's already done and all I can hope is for the best. Meh.

You know what's great? Next wednesday starts the next round of 8 tests. Yay.

London Olympics

I must say the Olympics is really cool. It's a time where everyone gets patriotic and passionately support their own nation in the various sporting events. It's a time where athletes all round the world compete with the very best.

Most of them are the very best, anyway. I was looking at the profiles of the team Singapore athletes, and two people caught my eye. One was Helena Wong, Female 53kg, Weightlifter, and Lim Heem Wei, Artistic Gymnast. I really couldn't understand why Singapore sent a weightlifter. Okay fine weightlifting might not require that many years to perfect (There's not much of a routine to it), and all you need is a strong body. This athlete has only been training for 2 years, somehow made it to the Olympics, and her performance was expected. I really hope the gymnast does well though. She trained for 15 years and after many injuries, finally made it to the Olympics.

After injuring myself a few times during Wushu, I've been made to stop my broadsword weapon. It just shows how less perseverance and concentration I have (wow). I hate training for something for a year and then starting things all over again. After holding onto some champion's spear, I feel a bit more motivated, and it's that funny energy.

I really messed up my wushu competition this year. I kept looking back and thinking, that was the worse routine I ever did.

I don't think I even make sense now. I should stop.

People

So recently is this ongoing kindness movement in school, Friends of Singa, and I'm part of the team in charge of this. We put up boards at different places of the school, in hope that students will write thing there actually pertaining to empathy, this year's theme. 3 school days without supervision and it came to my horror that 3 boards are missing (well it is our fault for not monitoring it daily and sticking it up when it fell), and we have all, and I mean all, boards disfigured somewhere.

Things don't always go out the way we expect it to be, but I guess that's just life. We planned for a place to hang it up after the boards are full, but I doubt we can do this now. Am I disappointed with the students? Pretty much. Ponies, dragons, cookies, writing over other people's words... Seriously? It's not something I expect out of 13-15 years old individuals, but maybe it's just the overly high expectations. After spending a few weeks analysing Barry Schwartz's Paradox of Choice, the key to happiness is low expectations. Maybe even giving so much trust into people wasn't a good idea. I don't know. Time will tell.

Then I thought, the Student Council will also face such situations. Oh well. It's time to brave myself.

"Everything was better, back when everything was worse. - Barry Schwartz"

Well here's another type of people I met along the way. Small children. Their warm, genuine smiles and innocent faces who have yet to step into the cold, crude reality life is. Just watching them run around with their squeaky shoes, scolding each other for tiny things and watching them fall and get back up again... Just makes me smile. And I thought, where have my childhood went?

And now adults. I would say this person is more carefree than anyone else. It's his birthday today and I actually forgot it (wow). Birthdays aren't that important to me anyway, and buying your own birthday cake just seems more depressing. Well... Whichever perspective you look at society from, it just is depressing.

Is life fair?

Basically, those who have the good life, thinks life is fair. Those who have the bad life, thinks life is unfair. That's the thing about opinion. Anyway I think there's fairness in unfairness. No matter how unfair things are, there's always someone who's having it worse than you, and some moment later, he will have it better than you. Come to think of it, I don't know if I really do make sense. I usually do these thoughts in my head.

Death is inevitable, it's just how early, or late, it is. I think I overstayed here. I rather not spend the rest of my life doing the same things, or being stressed. What's the use in stressing ourselves? I used to think happiness is never important, but maybe, I'm gradually changing that mindset. Sigh... I've changed so much.